Not my days in Israel. They couldn't have been better (that's a lie but I'm certainly enjoying my time here!). I'm talking about my Hebron entry, or rather my Hebron essay. :S There are so many details and the more I look into one, I come up with more. And I absolutely don't want to get stuck in one issue or one region this long. But the more I try my best to carefully avoid writing erroneous things or unthoughtful opinions, avoiding a fierce language, the longer it takes. How do you reach the truth about Hebron by visiting the city just for a day and listening to one source only? It is very important for me to elaborate on the important points and some insights, and to cross check everything as best as I can, research more, talk to other people if and when possible. So I'm glad that I filmed most of the trip. What I did was, I checked the time codes of each footage and ordered them chronologically. This certainly facilitated the frustrating obsession of mine, of trying to remember EVERYTHING. The videos in this order helped me to fill in the gaps between footage and in a different dimension, relive the whole experience, in so far as I am able. So this is why I'm quoting Isaac, our tour guide verbatim. I think this is important. Also I'm looking up online to find mostly newspaper articles or news stories to back up his words or to express my confusions. And yet I'm still not sure if this is enough and if by doing that I'm merely complicating the whole thing?
There are many stories, small stories like the one in Hebron. But dynamics are different and small details of each story make huge differences for me. Both sides on this land had suffered so much, before and after the state of Israel. Before and after PLO and Hamas. So many people whose sole purpose is to continue their lives as humanely as possible, wish to be left alone in peace, all these people are being wasted away in the middle of this nonsense wrangle, controversy, rivalry, this your prophet my prophet, my land, oh no I was here first, the history has showed... blah blah blah. While is easy to ask what it is that they cannot share, keeping track of these knots over knots is becoming a harder task for even academics, the knots are reshaping the Middle East and I can't seem to understand the pattern. There is nothing rational but the cries of people in Palestine and Israel who condemn racism and inequality, and who know so well that they can live together.
Why am I here? Why did I come here in the first place? What do I want to see, long to see, expect or curious to see here? To know, to claim? Claim my own responsibility. Is it too crazy to say that I want to be responsible of the world as a whole? I should elaborate on that this week.
So, nothing different than my previous days happened today. So instead of repeating myself, I decided to type some thoughts I have been writing down in my Israel journal. Briefly though, I finalized the report for the Nablus organization. A report on 3 Palestinian kids they provided medical help for. This is the same organization whose website I'm editing. While working on the report today, I needed to double check with Halim about the spellings of some names and medical terms. He laughed at me and my care for accuracy, for being meticulous, I think. He said, "You're so americanized, you do your work like an American," whatever the heck that means. Not sure if he was appreciating my carefulness or just teasing me. But it's a strange comment, coming from someone who only knew me for less than a month, has no idea about my "before-americanized" period, if there is such thing. I asked him why he said that, based on what. He didn't say, or rather perhaps he couldn't say, the words escaped him. I don't really worry about it at all, nor I am pissed at him. It's just, I found the comment peculiar, interesting. Halim is a good man, sensitive, passionate, and he puts his heart into everything he does for the school, and for peace he obstinately believes in. What is academic caution or attention to me, looks like something American here perhaps? Not sure why. Anyway. It was a beautiful day. Meeting the director of the sports center this week, finally. It seems like I can use the space whenever I want as long as I know where the school teacher is who has the keys to the center in her possession. I'm ready to be her best friend. :p
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